Is self-love biblical?

The Bible exhorts us to deny ourselves, eliminate the “self”, and make space for God to operate in our lives. But about loving ourselves?

In Mark 12:31, Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. This implies that loving oneself is a given.

However, self-love can be expressed in a way that does not honor God. We can be deceived and fall into selfishness and self-centeredness masked as self-love.

How, then, can we love ourselves as God’s children?

Discern Between Worldly Love and Godly Love

We are to glorify God in all we do (1 Corinthians 10:31). The world’s application of self-love is tainted. It is wrapped in hatred, pride, and selfishness.

The world says to put yourself first and always, and the Word says to consider others above yourself (Philippians 2:3). The world says it’s all about “me”, yet the Word tells us to walk in humility before God (James 4:10). 

Unbiblical love cuts people off because they “don’t serve me anymore.” Biblical love seeks understanding, forgiveness, and restoration where possible (Romans 12:18). 

Worldly self-love justifies harmful choices with phrases like “I deserve to be happy” regardless of consequences. Godly self-love denies fleeting pleasures that dishonor God (Titus 2:11-12). 

Worldly self-love refuses correction because “this is just who I am” or “no one can tell me what to do.” Godly self-love embraces godly correction to grow in character (Proverbs 27:6; Hebrews 12:11).

Worldly love is rooted in self-sufficiency and self-worship; Godly love stems from God’s love and the truth of Scripture.

Biblical self-love is not so much about the ‘self’ and its own interest. It’s about leading a life that pleases God, resting in His perfect love, nourishing our souls, and serving others.

It doesn’t seek to prove itself or make a show of itself. It simply is. 

Godly self-love is about looking to Jesus and desiring to live as He did.

Rest in God’s Love

God is the foundation of love. We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). We don’t need to strive to love ourselves because we know God Almighty loves us.

This truth and assurance allow our souls to rest and be content.

1 John 4:16 tells us that we can rely on God’s love. His love is perfect; it provides us with everything we need. It fills every void and empty place of our soul.

God’s love allows us to operate from a place of peace and quiet confidence. We are not driven by personal desires, achievements, or external validation. We simply rest in His love.

We don’t have to be strong all the time because His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). We don’t seek our worth in people’s praise and acclamation because we know our identity is secure in Christ (Galatians 1:10).

We don’t seek to defend and prove ourselves at all times because He is our Defender (Deuteronomy 32:4). We don’t hold onto bitterness to “protect ourselves” because He is our Protector (Psalm 18:2). We don’t have to rely on our own strength because He is our Provider (Psalm 145:15-16).

We don’t carry burdens we were never meant to bear because He gives us rest (Matthew 11:28-30). We don’t embrace pride under the guise of “confidence, because we are sons and daughters of the Most High (2 Corinthians 6:18).

We can love ourselves well when we draw from God’s love for us. 

Practice Healthy Acts of Love

Cultivating healthy, godly self-love can feel overwhelming and confusing amidst all the advice on loving oneself. These practices can help us love ourselves in a way that honors God:

1. Spending Time with God to Refresh Your Soul: Our souls need tender loving care. They can only find true satisfaction and fulfillment in connection with our Heavenly Father. Make space for Bible reading, prayer, worship, and rest, trusting God with your to-do list and knowing that true peace and identity come from God’s presence. 
2. Caring for Your Body as God’s Temple: We have been placed on this earth to carry out a mission. And for that, we need healthy bodies and sound minds. Eat well, rest, and exercise not for vanity but to stay healthy for God’s purposes (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Value what God has entrusted to you—your body.
3. Setting Healthy Boundaries: We are meant to serve others, but we need to exercise wisdom in our interactions. Say “no” when necessary to avoid burnout while still serving others in love. Balance serving others with taking time to recharge in God’s presence, following Jesus’ example of withdrawing to pray (Luke 5:16).
4. Receiving God’s Forgiveness and Moving On: Do not dwell on past mistakes and trust in God’s grace and love. We are sinners, and we stumble, but He is faithful and just to forgive us if we confess our sins (1 John 1:9). When you fail, you repent and trust in God’s grace instead of beating yourself up. Embracing God’s forgiveness takes the burdens of our sins off us and opens our hearts to forgive those who offend us. 
5. Serving Others from a Place of Wholeness: Everyone should look not to his own interests but rather to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). Volunteer, encourage others, and give generously because you know you’re loved, not to earn approval. Listen and show compassion, reflecting the love you’ve received from Christ.

We take care of ourselves to better honor God and serve others without falling into pride or neglect.

Conclusion

“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it.” – Ephesians 5:29

Loving ourselves is natural. However, it’s crucial to approach self-love with humility and not let it turn into pride or self-centeredness. 

Loving ourselves as children of God is to view ourselves as God sees us—valuable and loved, but also servants to others.

Embracing biblical self-love is understanding that our body and resources are God’s gifts; we are but stewards of what God has entrusted to us.

The goal and purpose is not to “serve ourselves” but to seek to please and honor God in everything and with all that we are.